In or Out?

So, the sunshine and the spring have finally made a very welcome appearance! How much of a difference do they make to your life and your mood?

I find the sunshine puts a few extra smiles in the world and that can only be a good thing!

My gym membership ended last month and so I have been experiencing the joys of outdoor exercise again for the first time since I was training for the marathon last year (and even then I only did a handful of outdoor runs if I am honest!).

As I was running along the river to Hampton Court yesterday, I compiled a list of pros and cons to my new outdoor cadio v my old friend, the gym….

Outdoor pros

• Sunshine
• Fresh Air
• Lung work out
• Seeing life
• Enjoying the views
• More interesting
• Opportunity to try different routes
• A chance to explore the area
• Inspiration for new places to take the kids
• It’s free
• Endless variety
• Start working out the minute I leave the house, no need for travel
• No smelly people on the treadmill next to me spraying their sweat across
• No need to always have £1 for lockers

Outdoor cons

• The little bug things that keep flying in my mouth/up my nose
• No trashy TV to watch or BBC news to catch up on or radio to listen to
• Having to take and carry as much water as I’ll need
• Being slightly scared of the woods/river path even though I always go safe routes my imagination does override my common sense on occasions
• It’s not right next to Sainsbury so I can’t link gym/shopping, bike ride home (although this should go under pros too as Sainsbury shopping after a run was dangerous as I would be so hungry, I’d buy way too much!)
• No little digital information provider telling me how far/long/fast I’ve been running
• If I run too far, I’ve still got to get myself home
• Weather dependant

13 v 8

In conclusion, I have found that my new al fresco style exercise is better all round!

Enjoy the sunshine and smiles x

Young love

Today we had the pleasure of having an adorable little girl from my son’s pre school class over to play. Three and a half hours flew by without hitch and she left my son and daughter totally exhausted and me feeling fine – my ideal house guest!

Her favourite game was to pretend that I was poorly and I had to lie on the sofa (good so far) and I wasn’t allowed to move (even better) whilst she told my obedient off spring to fetch me (pretend) drinks, cuddle me and give me lots of injections. She ate happily, played happily and brought out the best side of my son. He looked at her with puppy dog eyes, following her every command even though she is too young to realise the full advantage of her power. She looked like she had stepped out of a picture book, all long plaits, pink dress and rosy cheeks yet she got stuck in with his bob the builder games, ran around at speed and initiated a game in which they built an excellent den.

My son asked her why she doesn’t play with him all the time at school to which she replied simply that she plays with the girls at school but he could be her boyfriend outside of school. They are four.

My daughter took a few minutes to get used to having a female friend of her brother in the home as they have all been male to date apart from old friends who she has known forever. She soon recognised the benefit of having a fellow female to squeal with and demonstrated this seal of approval by bestowing upon her a pair of beloved pink, sparkling fairy wings.

I am very proud of my son for befriending such a sweet natured, charming and polite little girl and I do hope his taste in women remains so exactly to my taste also. To have the approval of the family instantly is quite remarkable. Long may it continue!

Looking to the future

My son has been thinking a lot about the future. He has often suggested that we get married and is quite sure that we’ll be together forever. He has also been making some interesting observations and suggestions in regards to the family.

‘Mummy, when I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor. And so will you so you can still be with me all of the day, every day’ He soon added his Papa and sister too as ‘we should all be together all of the time. For work and then lunch and then all come home together’

‘I’m also going to be a fireman. With my sister next to me in the baby seat’

He has been considering who will look after his sister’s babies when she grows up and ‘has real babies – what will happen to her baby? Who will push her around the house in the buggy?’

He is at the age where his Daddy is a giant in his mind. 'As big as Papa?’ being the ultimate in huge. He is determined to be that big and displays his enthusiasm as he finishes every last mouthful. ‘Can you see my legs growing?'

Birthday Boy

My little boy turned 4 today. He took it all in remarkably calmly and just seemed to cruise through and enjoy the day.

He woke up and happily opened presents before getting ready for pre school where he wore the ‘birthday badge’, got sung to and gave out treats at the end. Then he came home to the house I had prepared for his party and waited for his little group of friends to arrive. They played, ate, played and ate some more and then left, rosy cheeked and goodie bags* in hand. My son crashed out with his little sister and watched his birthday film ‘UP’, just popping into the playroom every so often to check out his new toys. He got ready for bed and jumped in easily to listen to lots of new birthday book stories. Falling asleep with a gentle smile still playing on his mouth, his mummy staring at him with a nostaligic and proud mummy tear falling unashamedly.

Thank you for the most wonderful and the most perfect four years of my life so far, my little superhero xxxxx

*Goodie bags from www.sweetpeaparties.com and highly recommended by MummyCoach!

Everything comes in threes

So, Part Three. 1. Tonsillitis 2. Swine flu 3. See below

I had my appendix out on Friday night. I knew there was something wrong but it took a while to figure out what it was. I’ve always known that I have a high pain threshold and, on this occasion, it worked to my disadvantage. After two visits to the GP, it had been put down to gastro something and then a kidney infection. Luckily, I had been told that if the super strength antibiotics didn’t work then I was to return and when I did, the tests showed that I was getting worse and not better. A few more tests and I was straight to hospital and operated on that night.

10 things that I have learnt

1) A good friend at a time in need turns her from a valued friend into a guardian angel

2) Managing to see your husband, albeit briefly, just before heading to theatre makes it all OK

3) Timing is essential. On the weekend. That mum was due to visit. Good planning Mrs. Appendix

4) Home and kids and husband are all the best medicines (without doing the hard work of course!)

5) If it hurts, there is probably something wrong and you should keep trying to fix it until it doesn’t hurt anymore

6) It is perfectly acceptable to attempt a quick clean of the house before heading to hospital if you have a minute as it makes drifting off into oblivion so much easier

7) Hospital food lives up to the reputation it has so rightfully been given

8) You have to ask the questions if you want to get the answers

9) Losing a few hours of your life and waking up to your body complete with marks, scars and things attached to you that you have no memory of receiving is very disconcerting

10) Drugs do work

p.s Allegedly when I was coming round in the recovery room, I could hear some of the team talking about a doctor who had been naughty. I was very insistent to pass on my wisdom to them in all things disciplinary and suggested they put him on the simmer down chair until he can say sorry.

Playtime with playdough!

My son is given a different literacy or numeracy learning pack each week from pre school which are designed to promote weekend activities with the family. They normally come with a book, an exercise or game, a felt board with characters, musical instruments or other props. The pack comes complete with a laminated sheet with ideas and suggestions as to how to use the learning pack.

I love them as they are full of ideas and the one just before half term included the idea of making non-cook playdough, rolling it into little balls and then pushing the balls through some skewers and leaving to dry overnight. Then you can paint them and leave to dry again before threading them through some string to make a beautiful necklace!

I normally make playdough on the cooker but this was a non-cook recipe and it was brilliant. The kids loved the progression of making through to the necklace and it took all of half term to complete it due to the drying times required but this added to its charm. It was an activity that went the distance.

We developed this idea as we all loved it. The next time we made playdough, we rolled it out and used our letter cutters to make our names and other letters that we liked. My son was having a great time finding the letters to make up his name and trying to help his sister and then using the letters to make words once they were dry.

This was a cheap, fun and messy activity that we will be doing again soon!

Playdough recipe

1 cup of salt

2 cups of flour

2 tablespoons cream of tartar

2 tablespoons of oil

2 cups of boiling water

Mix up all of the dry ingredients, add the oil and then slowly stir in the boiling water.

Making sense of the world

I was brought up as a Christian with varying degrees of dedication. For a long time my family were really quite religious and so we would attend church every Sunday, go to Sunday school and my sisters and I all started our education in a Church of England school. We would say grace before a meal, we had copies of the bible around although bible reading wasn’t forced upon us. I envied my sisters as they were old enough to go to ‘Supersaints’, the church group designed for teenagers in the evenings.

My parents separated when I was nine years old and, as I remember, this is when our family and religion in the traditional sense also parted ways. The faith remained however our church attendance was limited to Christmas Eve Mass and other special occasions and there was no more Sunday school and, perhaps most upsettingly for me at the time, my name would never appear on the guest list for 'Supersaints’.

My family each have their own relationships with faith, spirituality and belief and I have mine. I have been thinking of this a lot recently as my son asks so many questions such as ‘Who made our house?’ ‘Who made that car?’ ‘Who made water?’ ‘Who made me?’ ‘Who made you?’ ‘Who made Grannie?’ ‘Who made this toothpaste?’ ‘Who made the trees?’

My answers are normally are one of the following:

1) A factory

2) Their Mummy and Daddy

3) A clever man/lady

4) Bob the Builder

5) God

Then I had ‘Who made God?’ ‘Where is God?’ ‘Why is God everywhere?’ ‘Why is there only one God?’

OK, I had to decide fairly quickly how much to discuss, feeling rather under qualified to explain such important theological ideas and what I was to fill his head with. More questions it turned out, of course.

My husband was brought up in a relaxed Catholic family and attended a school run by nuns for some time. He has no strong religious views now but is a spiritual and open - minded person across the board. We both want to allow our children to decide what they believe and I think the best we can do is offer answers based on what we know or believe and also make sure the kids know that there are lots of beliefs, all of which are equally valid.

I give full credit to my parents as my guides in what I should and shouldn’t do and I recognise that they brought me up to be a ‘good person’ however, I can’t help but think that I also owe a lot to starting life with such a solid religious education. I was never scared by religion or made to feel intimidated, simply the fact that there was the possibility that something like God existed and would see me and judge me was enough of a deterrent.

My son is now making sense of the world around this ‘God’ I have introduced to his world and he talks about him often.

According to my son, the following is an accurate description of God:

He has two googly eyes

A shiny, round nose

A big, big tummy

2 goobly hairs

He is short with feet as big as my (Duplo) castle

He paints and glues and reads Thomas the Tank Engine books

He gives Karma

He eats potatoes (lots of them) and so that he’ll grow into a big polar bear

He eats, pasta, spaghetti, meat and chicken

He doesn’t go to school as he’s too small

I am slightly concerned that I am confusing him but until I can think of better answers to life’s big questions, this will have to do.

Pilate Revisited

I discussed my lack of core stability in my ‘64th Time Lucky' post and so I thought I should revisit my previous procrastination and update on my progress.

 

I completed the Pilates course and left with new knowledge, feeling fantastic despite suffering more illnesses during the 5 weeks I had been learning than ever before (this was purely coincidence!) and ready to put it all to good use.

 

I use a lot of the techniques most days. I use some of the exercises in the gym during my mat work and others just at home when I need to relax or stretch particular muscles. One move I was shown helps a part of my back that I had never been able to reach before. (cue respectively toned down - this was a civilised Pilates class with dimmed light and mood music playing after all  -  ‘When Harry met Sally’ moment)

 

I use the location of the correct layer muscles technique when I do weight work, when I do sit ups and sometimes just when I am walking along.

 

All good so far. I have not been to a Pilates class itself since as the one led by my original teacher is on a Saturday morning and so far I haven’t got myself up and out in time…my husband always offers a lie in to me on a weekend morning if we do not have guests and I find it impossible not to simply nod in submission and turn around back up to bed to snuggle under my warm duvet and…zzzzzzz!

 

I am so glad to have done the course and there is a move, I cannot remember the name of, where you work your way down to touching your toes feeling every vertebra and stretching out and this is how I start and finish every day. I still rate cardio higher for my own needs as it works me in a way I respond to in reducing stress and feeling on top. I would leave the Pilates class feeling relaxed but restless and I still needed to work up a sweat.

 

I think when I have extra time to fit in more than the minimum number of workouts that I need a week, I will introduce a Pilates class and until then I will practice it daily at home. My Pilates DVD now finally makes sense and I know what feels right so this will keep me going until then! 

Mummy Uninterrupted

 

Quite often I will leave a coffee morning or meeting with a friend and feel like I have returned from a tipsy night out and I am experiencing that morning after feeling of half conversations. You know, you remember starting them but you cannot remember how the conversation ended. Well, I often find this is the case now for entirely different reason. My children, their children, someone else’s children or our own parental paranoia meaning that we have one ear on the conversation and one on what’s happening with the little ones.

 

‘So, your husband’s looking for a new job and when is the interview?’

‘On Wednesday but he’s not…oh Josh honey give the train back to Charlie, yes it’s his turn….he’s not really sure as….OK Josh love, let’s go for a wee wee…one minute..’

 

By the time we return from the toilet, the conversation has evaporated and so we start another forgetting where we were prior to the train or the toilet

 

‘I hope the catchment area is the same as last year as we’re hoping to get Simone into the school and…..Poppet, hold your drink up as it’s spilling, oops, on the carpet, no, no don’t worry’

 

Once again forgotten as the next conversation begins with

 

‘The carpet? Oh, no don’t be silly, we’re planning to rip these ones up at the end of the year because….oh dear, it’s ok, it’s only a scratch, oh darling, it’s ok, Chester didn’t mean to hit you with the train’

 

And then that one is discarded onto the increasingly large pile of half sentences..

 

‘’Oh yes, the sight of blood always give me a turn. One time, oh it was so funny, I was on my way to…..Yes, my lovely, you want a cuddle, ok lovely come on up, oh such a lovely song…he’s such a good little singer, one time we were at this restaurant and the music came on and he recognised the tune…..oh dear, who is that? Archie?’

‘Yes, I think so…hang on, let me go and check’

 

And so it continues…starting and stopping, half conversations, half finished stories and a very enjoyable social catch up although a side dish of non - stop interruptions. I have developed a much faster speech rate due to this ‘HowmuchcanIgetoutinonegobeforeweareinterrupted?’

and I rush through any conversation until I realise it’s OK to slow down and pointless rushing as nobody will understand me anyway.

 

I thought of this because last week I had the opportunity to experience not one but two, count them- ONE, TWO – uninterrupted girl times. First up was a coffee morning with the mums from my son’s school and it fell on a Friday. Friday is the only morning I am childfree as my daughter is at playgroup from 9.30-11.30am. 

It was so strange to sit with the mums and chat without looking over shoulders or stopping and starting. I had never actually done it before and I still chatted way too fast but came away feeling like I had heard so much more than normal. I could see the plate of chocolate biscuits and think ‘yum yum’ and not ‘potential toddler sugar high run for the hills’. I could sit back and listen with both ears and watch with both eyes. I think I may need a few attempts to get used to this as the feeling was quite alien and without your children to protect you, the mummy world is a very scary place at times, but I am already looking forward to the next Friday meeting!

 

 The second was something I had been waiting, in excited anticipation, for a while. I had my little big sister for a full night all to myself.

 

We planned an evening together and I knew it would be wonderful and special and it lived up and exceeded my expectations.

I was so happy to spend some proper and uninterrupted time with her for the first time in too long. She has two small children as do I, we live over 200 miles apart, we try to get a decent chat in weekly but there is nothing like a night devoted to each other. She came to stay at our house alone and over a bottle of champagne, a lovely dinner out (and a further bottle of wine) and then a cup of peppermint tea on the sofa afterwards, we properly chatted.

 

Having spent that time with her, I appreciate her even more and I feel a better person for having been in her company for that time. Yes, she’s special.

 

My sister is one of those women who are aware that there is enough to go around everyone and she celebrates the successes and happiness of all of those around her. She is the first to tell you that you look fantastic, your hair is great and your clothes look fabulous. She can’t wait to hear your good news and she picks out all of your strengths and highlights them whenever she can. Your celebration is her celebration and she makes a huge fuss of you to prove it.

 

I cannot thank her enough for granting me that and it was the best birthday present she could have given me…her time.

 

Can you get some uninterrupted time with someone special this month? Give it a try, it will make you feel closer than ever!

'Can I really, truly keep him?'

 (picture is of my son on his first day at home, 12 hours old)

I have just returned from visiting one of my closest friends. She gave birth on Monday to her first daughter and today I had the honour of going over to meet the little stunner. As I walked through the door, I felt an unexpected emotional rush seeing her cradling her newborn baby and looking every inch the perfect, content and blissfully happy new mummy. It was an image I’ll always remember if through slightly blurred vision due to the tears I couldn’t hold back.

 

Those initial days when you bring your first baby home are some of the most beautiful of all time. They take on a surreal, hazy glaze over time and they form the beginning of the highly emotional and joyous journey you will travel through during parenthood.

 

I remember recognising a similar feeling to that of when you first move house. All your stuff is there but it kind of feels different as it is in a different place. Now you are home with your baby, it’s still your home but now it has a tiny baby with a huge presence in it and everything has changed in an instant. Every room feels different, a bit more new and special. My husband and I were so polite to each other, feeling our way around our new roles as mummy and daddy. Even the making of a cup of tea felt strange. The baby that was inside me was suddenly out and we were experiencing love and worry and joy on a level that felt stratospheric.

 

The moses basket which had stood in anticipation for weeks and the sheets washed and re washed, now cradled a little life. The sleepsuits and nappies that had been so lovingly folded, touched, refolded, smoothed over and held imagining the life that would fill them were now filled and the little head poking out the top is warm and soft. The nights take on a magical turn as suddenly any hour is ready to be filled with feeds, changes and checking. Hushed whispers as you watch and listen and wonder in bewilderment how you could produce something so perfect.

 

He slept for hours through the day yet the hours flew as I stroked his cheeks, checked every part of him and fell in love deeper and deeper then I knew it went. As he scrunched his nose and pouted his lips, I asked myself again ‘Is he really mine? Can I really, truly keep him?’

 

Friends and family came and went; some seeming almost alien in our cosy cocooned environment whilst others left me teary eyed and emotional due to the overwhelming feelings of comfort they brought. Flowers covered the surfaces, biscuits and cakes were replenished and endless cups of tea, coffee and juice passed the lips of those around me.

 

As the first two weeks came to an end, I couldn’t remember a life without this little angel in it. I had experienced love and worry in abundance and knew that ‘real life’ would start again soon. The midwife discharged me and information regarding vaccinations, registrations, 6 - week checks, hearing tests and health visitors formed a swell of new responsibility around us.

 

For the moment though, all I wanted to do was curl up and cuddle. Grow in confidence feeding and changing and bathing. Get to know my new body and how it felt to no longer be pregnant but instead be a mummy. The words that kept whirling around my mind: ‘I am a mummy. I have done it. I gave birth. I have a son. I am the luckiest lady in the whole wide world.’ 

I am so proud of my friend and I wish her and her partner all the love and happiness in the world for their new little family.  xx

Big Grins

I am very excited about the start of this new decade. 2010. It is one that I had pinpointed as special since I was a little girl as it would be the one that would see me turn 30! I have been looking forward to becoming 30 since I was about 5 years old. Odd? Maybe! My mum installed this love in me (as she did a love of many things being so full of love that she is) due to her own love of being 30. ‘Oh my darling, being 30 was the best ever. It was the year that I had YOU!’ Now, this is not to say that the years she had my sisters were any less wonderful, it’s just that I was a much longed for third baby (my sisters are 5 and 7 years older than me) and one that she could relax and enjoy with a lot more confidence in her ability.

 

Like me, my mum always feels young. She is an August birthday so the youngest in her year at school. It was her 60^th birthday this year and she celebrated with every joy for every year and has done for every birthday I can remember. She celebrates getting older and appreciates each year and I am the same. I could never dread a birthday or wish to turn back the clock as I am excited about the prospect of the future and grateful for whatever the past has allowed me so far. I also always feel young having been the youngest in the family and often in social groups I have been part of. I was always the ‘little one’ and always the one who was underage in the pub or 14 when the cinema required a 15, so now I am just happy not to cause a threat to the enjoyment of the evening by being refused service/entry. I wouldn’t mind being asked for id now though especially since I have never even been looked at twice at the bar/check out since turning 18 – oh, the injustice!

 

I have had an amazing and bursting to the seams 20’s including graduation, first jobs, spreading my wings into the real world, beautiful new friendships, parties and fun, many houses and homes, travel, meeting and falling in love with my soul mate, marriage, two incredible children, health and happiness beyond any expectation 10 years ago. Even my eager 19 –year- old self who was at university with hopes and dreams like anyone else would not have ever imagined such a fabulous decade and so I feel absolutely ready to take on the next. I have developed a love of life, love of others and love of myself that will hopefully enable me to lead my children through their formative years with the confidence my mum spoke of.

 

My growing maturity has taught me that there is so much more out there, so much to learn and so much to grow from. I do not have to do it all now and nobody expects me to know it all. Nobody is perfect, certainly not me. I am aware of some of my short comings and less favorable personality traits and I am sure that I will learn of many more over of years but I will always be working to improve on them. 

 I have more body confidence now that I no longer fight against my natural curves trying to change them into a size not me. Amazingly this led to a ‘happy weight’ that was below my ‘fighting weight’ and I am now feeling balanced, fulfilled and satisfied as a result. I have discovered the importance of exercise and love being a non - smoker. I know that a bad hair day or bad face day or bad anything else day is not the end of the world and it will pass as quickly as it arrived.  I know that a huge, true grin in photos squeezing someone you love even though it squashes your cheeks is always more beautiful than a pout and a side ways pose.

 

I know that being surrounded by love and feeling love in all its forms is precious and should never be taken for granted. I know that as long as you have your health you can achieve anything.

 

I am full of expectation for this new decade and will be working on turning my next set of hopes and dreams into realistic goals and targets for the next stage of my life. I now have a solid base from which to build and a strong support around me in which to bounce off if I slide or fall. I am in no rush to get anywhere as I am so much more aware of enjoying life for the moment and enjoying the NOW.

 

I am so excited about turning 30 next month and will celebrate every one of my 30 years on this earth with a huge grin hopefully with my cheek squashed up against the three best things from the last decade…my husband, my son and my daughter. How could my 30’s be anything but insanely perfect with them in my life? 

Home sweet Home

After a wonderfully busy Christmas break, we are back and I have just about got the laundry basket down from it's post holiday 555% over capacity to it's usual 90% full. Actually should that be 10% empty and does that make me an optimist or a pessimist? 

Anyway, we're back and the routine is slotting easily back into place. The kids are so excited about the snow that they haven't noticed the removal of decorations and all things christmassy so the January blow has been softened. For all of us.

I hope that everyone had a very happy christmas, a fantastic new year and that 2010 brings every joy, health and happiness you deserve.

Welcome 2010.......it's going to be a fabulous year! xxxx